While I’m a huge advocate for weddings being all about the bride and groom, we can’t ignore the families that helped this all come together. Family photos at a wedding can be so much fun, and become their own kind of special moment and memento for generations to come. Honestly, I totally see how weddings can hold their own kind of pressure for the families - you don’t wanna make too big of a deal of yourself, but also this is a big deal for you too. You’re seeing your child or loved one make a lifetime commitment to someone who’s gonna attend all the Thanksgivings, Christmases, and family reunions for the rest of their lives. Names are changing, roles are changing, and everything can feel like it’s changing, on top of trying to figure out what to wear! 

I know weddings can carry their own pressure and awkwardness for the couple’s families and I’m here to give you some tips on how to show up well for those family wedding photos. 

First off, I want you to take a deep breath. There is nothing wrong with taking some space for your own emotions and your own headspace around all this. Weddings can be oh so complicated and full of all kinds of feelings- and I want you to let yourself sit with all that. Because trust me, if you don’t let yourself name and hold space for some of those feelings, especially if they’re mixed or overflowing, it can SO easily come out at the worst moment (or at least in your face during photos!) Yes, we all know this moment is about the couple, but just because the wedding itself is about them doesn’t mean that you can’t have a deep conversation with a friend, a long journal entry, or a good cry fest about your own feelings before the fact. Whatever’s going on in there- if you wanna give yourself the least pressure and the most genuinely fun and magical day seeing your loved one get married- I need you to take a breath with yourself first. There’s SO a way to address your own unique experience and feelings AND still show up beautifully and confidently at your loved one’s wedding.

Okay, so beyond our internal moment there, let’s talk about your body image. I know we’re going a little deep today but believe me, weddings have an uncanny way of digging up all the deep stuff in a family and in people- and I do not wanna watch you hit a landmine through my camera lens. But loves, whether you got a few extra pounds, wrinkles, achey joints, or parts that don’t work/look/act like they used to, I’m telling you that you can still look good in your family’s wedding photos. And here’s the hard truth- even if you don’t feel good or hate how you look in every photo right now- you being IN that photo matters so, so much more than how you’re feeling in the moment. Your loved one wants you the photo, future you wants you in the photo, your future grandkids and great grandkids want you in the photo. And they won’t see your extra pounds or how you should be exercising more or all your medical history, they’re gonna see someone they love or care about or wish they knew. No matter where you’re at with your body right now, there are clothes out there that’ll make you feel good enough and you should be in those photos- smiling, laughing, and enjoying a day that shouldn’t be for a second about your insecurities right now. If somebody says something mean or snide (because, you know, families sometimes,) your camera-holding fairy godmother would like to remind you both that today is not about that and that shouldn’t come between you and enjoying this day. Not for a second. Don’t let your current insecurities keep you from a once-in-a-lifetime joy. 

Finally, the practical magic you’ve all been waiting for: How the heck do we all look good in a family wedding photo? Whether you’ve got three or fifty-two, here’s my best practical tips for a classy, happy wedding photo you can hang, treasure, and pass down for years to come:

One of my all-time favorite strategies is just using the wedding’s color palette! If the wedding’s colors are maroon, baby blue, and navy, then everyone should have something with those colors in their outfit. The men have baby blue ties or navy jackets, the girls have floral dresses with one or two of those colors, etc, etc. 

You can even just pick one color everyone wears. It doesn’t have to be a solid color outfit, but you’d be surprised how just everybody wearing something navy or something pink can really make everyone look cohesive and unified. Plus, letting everyone interpret that color in their own way lets their own personalities and stages of life shine too!

For everybody’s sanity, it might be a good idea for whoever’s the main organizer to ask for photos of what people are planning to wear. It’s not a time to get judgy or tell people what to wear, but asking this simple question might help you feel more at ease that your family’s thinking about it and give you some idea of what to expect. Some loving reminders and a couple kind check-ins can go a long way on getting everybody on board with something. 

Also, for the love of all things good, do not pick the family color to be that one dusty rose that could actually be ten different shades of pink. Don’t do it. Unless you’re open to some variation in color day-of (which could be pretty in its own right too!) But if you really want everybody to have a same color outfit or accessory, pick something distinctive that’ll be somewhat easy to find. This could be a jewel tone like deep blue or red, a classic like navy or tan, or even something earthy but distinct like dark orange, sage green or baby blue. 

As far as actually finding all these outfits, it might be good to look at bridesmaid and bridal sites! Obviously you don’t all need to look like bridesmaids, but shopping somewhere with a hefty color selection and wide size range can save you a lot of headache. Places like Baltic Born are great examples where they have lots of styles and fabrics in a slew of colors, but there’s several other places that offer similar features. 

Really, besides color-matching and having some genuine conversations about the photoshoot, my best advice is to not turn up the pressure. It’s a lot more likely I’m going to capture some beautiful and natural photos if everybody’s genuinely smiling and showing up as themselves, not stuffed up in itchy suits and heavy expectations. Take a breather. Tell an inside joke as I photograph. Choose to do your photos doing something loved by your family like playing cards or eating donuts if that feels more fun. Everyone can be holding coffee mugs or sippy cups cheering the couple or holding a hand of cards or making silly faces. Really, there are no rules about family wedding photos other than make sure they actually happen!