No, You Don’t Need to Lose Weight for Your Wedding

Your camera-holding fairygodmother on all you + your body this wedding season

In between the holidays and wedding seasons, there are messages *everywhere* about losing weight, cutting carbs, changing your body, getting fit- you name it. And, love, we can’t undo all those lies you’ve been told in one blog post, but what I can do as your photographer and someone who celebrates women’s bodies in my work every single day- is give you some advice. 


First, I wanna address the elephant in the room here: You don’t need to lose weight for your wedding. ten less pounds will not make you happier, smile brighter, or enjoy your wedding day more- it just won’t. There’s no shame if you want to use your wedding as motivation or an excuse to lose weight or get healthier, if that was already one of your goals. But please do NOT pray to the scale gods because of Pinterest pressure or what your mom said or all the bridal magazines. Do not starve yourself, start a harsh workout regime, or punish your body to squeeze into a tighter dress or take up less space on your big day. 


Your body is already beautiful enough to be married. And, even if you honestly don’t love your body right now, or looking at wedding magazines is causing you stress- it’s okay to feel that way too. But babe, you don’t have to love your body for them  to be good enough. For them to be a good spouse, a good bride or groom, and a person who loves and adores their new spouse. None of those bad ads or advice can take away a beautiful wedding that feels and looks like you. One that you can remember and cherish forever. 


When you see your wedding photos, I want you to see yourself as a newly-wed who will love well, care deeply, and enjoy this new chapter of their life. None of those things require you to be a certain weight, size, or go carb-free- and actually, they might require you to
not be those things if they’re just not healthy for you. 


I also really encourage you to talk to your future spouse about this! It might feel weird, but being open about your insecurities and worries is SO important for a blooming marriage. And, babe, hearing them tell you that they love you, you’re beautiful, and they don’t need you to change  for them (because I highly doubt they’ll say anything else!) can ease you so much. Remember they’re already marrying you for you. If being a certain weight or shape feels like an expectation in your relationship, that is beyond not okay. A loving partner should never body shame you or make you feel like you’re not inherently wonderful and gorgeous as you are, however you are. 


Also, remember, planning a wedding and getting ready for a BIG life change can already be stressful and disorienting enough- so don’t burn yourself out! As much as I wish weddings were all magic and fun- they’re also often stressful, time-consuming, and emotionally draining. If you really wanna better care for yourself pre-wedding, you might benefit more from trying out regular therapy, setting time aside for self-dates, or cultivating a journaling practice. 


This might be a time of more ice cream + dumb movie nights, hectic schedules, and hard, honest conversations you need to have with yourself, your fiance, and your loved ones- and that deserves more of your attention than your weight right now. No amount of lost pounds can give you calm, clarity, and confidence- only genuine care can. 


But, if losing weight or getting more fit have already been goals of your’s- and you’d really love to see some muscle definition or go down a dress size by your wedding- I love that for you too! I just want you to be loving and kind to yourself too. Give yourself a realistic timeline and start in baby steps. Because you can do anything you set your mind to.


Maybe don’t do crossfit everyday, but instead just find a simple weight-lifting routine you can try once or twice a week. Maybe find a personal trainer or learn how to cook at home more. These can be easier goals that might actually serve you into your marriage too (like learning how you love moving your body or how to cook food that actually makes you feel good!) If trying to be more healthy, genuinely healthy, is one of your pre-wedding goals- find something small, doable, and sustainable. You do NOT need one more thing to feel bad about or stress about right now. 


Really, as a wedding photographer, I want you to know that having a fun, beautiful wedding day and pouring into your future self and marriage are far, far more important than being a little thinner. Our Instagram feeds and families can be so full of body pressure and subtle hints we need to be better, skinnier, and more “perfect”. Because there is no such thing as being more perfect. - but that doesn’t change that you’re already good enough. That you will find a dress you love. And that you can be exactly the spouse you so wish to be.

By Abigail Hallam April 11, 2024
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By Abigail Hallam April 11, 2024
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